How do you fill that love jar?
He was looking at her as if she was all that matters that moment. She was looking back at him, smiling. He brushed his fingers to her hair very slowly as if he’s counting them one by one. Then she took his hand, kissed his fingers very slightly. That was my view from afar while I was wearing my earphone, listening to the songs that we will be rehearsing tomorrow. It’s like I’m watching a romantic movie. I told myself, “I’m guessing these two people are a new couple.”
Maybe I am right, maybe I am not.
And while watching them I built this huge urge to ask myself this some questions. Would it make a difference to ask your loved-one how they want to be loved? How they wish you would treat them? What can you do to further deepen the connection?
I had to admit that I haven’t asked Jonjie those questions ever. Have I ever been concerned about how he wants me to love him? Have I ever asked him if am I loving him enough? Does the answers really matter?
I think it does. It’s just that I didn’t bother to ask.
I have been with him for so long that maybe I made myself believe that I was loving him enough. Or maybe because he wasn’t complaining at all. They say that one way of understanding people is putting yourself in their shoes. Sure. And if he would ask me those questions, the truth is, I would melt, instantly. (eyes gleaming)
This applies not only for people who are in a romantic relationship. I think I goes way deeper than that. Have we asked our siblings these questions? Our parents? How about our friends?
I remember reading that Gary Chapman book called The 5 Love Languages. It basically talks the different kinds of love language of people and if you were open on acknowledging them, there are suggestions on how to love someone according to his love language. He assume that, that is the best way to fill someone’s love tank. Set aside the kilig factor but I am guessing that asking your loved-ones those questions offers a certain level of reassurance. And coming from the right people makes you believe that they do actually care and that maybe, just maybe, you really matter to them.
Timing is essential too. Ask now.
If you were able to ask those questions, tell me how you did it. 🙂
—- Photo credits: http://paularenee.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/heartoutsideajar.jpg
Sugarfixed. 
