Break na Kami

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Have you heard of the saying, “Hard times will always reveal true friends?”

If you haven’t heard about that or if you are someone who’s in that bubbly stage of her life then I am sending you a hug right now to congratulate you and you are in a treat for a read.

Mapaglaro lang talaga ang tadhana at may sarili itong paraan para ipakilala sa’yo ang mga taong nakapaligid sa’yo. Magpasalamat ka pa din dahil ibig sabihin nun may chance ka baguhin ang mga mali at ipagpatuloy naman ang tama.

5 NA PALATANDAAN NA PANAHON NA PARA MAKIPAG-BREAK KA SA KAIBIGAN MO;

Sa puntong ito, mapapatanong ka siguro ng, “nagbe-break din pala ang mga magkakaibigan?” Ang sagot ay, OPO. At kagaya ng lahat ng relasyon, maging pagkakaibigan po, ay maari  mabigyan ng tuldok. Masakit at nakakapanghinayang pero ganun talaga. May mga bagay na di laan sa isa’t isa.

Basahin mo ang mga palatandaan at subukan mong i-assess ang mga relasyon na meron ka ngayon. Baka isa dun ay patungo na din sa pagtatapos.

1. CLOSE NA CLOSE PA KAYO NUNG MGA PANAHON NA DI PA NIYA NAKUKUHA ANG GUSTO NIYA.

Alalahanin mong maige kung may participation ka ba sa pag-abot niya sa mga pangarap na yun. Malamang isa ka sa mga nasa loob ng support team na matinding magpalakas ng loob niya. Tagapagpaalala na ‘di pa katapusan ng mundo nung mga panahon na sinasagupa niya pa ang mga pagsubok sa buhay niya. Pero mabuti kang kaibigan. Di ka din nagkulang sa pagsasabi ng, “Huwag kang mawalan ng pag-asa.” Congratulations! Naniwala siya sa’yo pero hanggang doon na lang yun, hindi dapat umasa masyado.

2. HINDI MAN LANG MARUNONG MAG-ABALA NA MANGAMUSTA KAHIT ALAM NIYA NA MAY PINAGDADAANAN KA. Hello?! Kung syota mo nga ang gagawa niyan sa’yo malamang awayin at hiwalayan mo di ba? Sa kaibigan pa kaya? Ganun lang kasimple yun di ko na kailangan ipaliwanag ng mahaba. Tama?

3. WALA  KA NG GANA NA MAGKWENTO DAHIL PAKIRAMDAM MO ISA KA NG MALAKING ABALA.

May dahilan ka naman kung bakit mo naramdaman yun. Kung nasa matinong pag-iisip ka naman at di naman masyado praning, very sane mo naman made-determine yung ganung pakiramdam. Di ka din naman siguro manhid para di maramdamdaman na wala na siyang gana makinig sa mga adventures mo, mare. Yung tipong yung kwento na lang niya ang may sense. Yung problema na lang niya ang kailangan ng atensyon. Very one-sided na ang dating pag nagkikita kayo. Pagkakaibigan nga e di ba? E bakit pag ikaw ang may kailangan ng kausap paang wala siyang gana? Malu un! Tandaan mo, kung talagang meant pa na maging magkaibigan kayo, di ka sana naiilang. Pag nagsimula ka ng kwestyunin ang timbang mo sa buhay niya, may choice ka, testingin mo kung meron pa nga or simulan mo ng lumayo.

4. KAPAG NAGSIMULA KA NAMAN NG LUMAYO, DI KA NA NIYA HINAHANAP.

Madali i-type ang mga katagang I MISS YOU. Minsan nga dahil sa sobrang busy IMY na lang e. Pero kung ang tinuturing mong kaibigan mo ay di na magawa ang mga bagay na yan kasabay ng mga iba pang senyales sa taas, buksan mi na ang mata mo. Masakit man, papanindigan ko ang parati kong sinsabi na magpasalamat ka pa din dahil “mas maaga, mas maige.” Sa pagtagal-tagal ng panahon ganun na ata ang naging panindigan ko sa buhay. Kung mawawala ka din balang-araw, bakit di pa ngayon? Yung tipong ganun.

5. AT ANG PINAKAMASAKIT SA LAHAT, HINDI MO NA DIN NAMAN SIYA HINAHANAP.

Sa puntong ito, napatunayan mo na mutual naman din pala ang pakiramdam. Madaming dahilan para maging mutual at di mo na din siya hahanapin or ang presensya niya. Isa ay malamang isa pala siyang malaking “stress factor” sa buhay mo. Wala na siyang ginawa kundi gawin kang emotional punching bag dahil lahat na lang ng palpak niya ikaw ang tumatayong taga-gawa ng solusyon. Yung tipong mas magaan pala ang buhay at yung tinatawag kong back to normal, dahil di ka naman mismo mapaggawa ng problema. Maaari ding dahilan kung bakit di mo na siya hinahanap ay dahil natanggap mo na wala siya or na parang wala ka naman talagang kaibigan.

Sa mga nabanggit kong senyales sa taas, yan pa lang yung mgapinaka-obvious, tipong hard to miss. Yan na yung mga senyales na sumasampal na sa mukha mo at nag-iiwan na ng marka pero maaring ayaw mo pa din tanggapin dahil may denial ka pa at naiisip mo pa din na isalba ang relasyon mo sa taong ito. Wag kang malungkot, sabi nga nila, pag may nawawala, may pumapalit. Wag kang matakot na bitawan ang mga bagay na ‘di para sayo. At kapag may nakakita sayo na kakilala at hinanap ang kaibigan mo, wag kang mahiyang magsabi ng, “Wala na, break na kami.”

One Thursday Well-Spent

Hubby and I decided to do this Php100 date challenge and since we live near Cartimar we decided to spend our day-off there. For those who do not know Cartimar is a place in Pasay where you can see and buy pets like dogs and fishes and birds of many kinds and other stuff like pet food or accessories. If you’re out to buy pets, Cartimar is the place to go. However, it doesn’t require a single peso to just walk around and enjoy the view and learn a thing or two if you happen to come across with a knowledgeable owner or ‘bantay’.

Sugarfixed one thursday well spent

Inside Cartimar Pet Shop Alley

We only spent Php95.00 all in all and it was a very fun and rewarding day for both of us! We will surely be doing more of this, I miss more ‘live-well, spend-less date challenges. 🙂

This, by the way, is in relevance with my idea of ‘the gift of time’. It’s a little project that I would like to start doing this year and hope to never get tired doing. 🙂 I hope to encourage friends and family to join me in discovering what “time” has to offer for us.

One thursday well spent

Sugarfixed One Thursday Well spent

One Thursday Well spent sugarfixed garden

Here’s the link to the video of that day. ENJOY!!! ———–> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-1Qq_rKTQw&feature=youtu.be

Tell Me How To Love You

How do you fill that love jar?

How do you fill that love jar?

He was looking at her as if she was all that matters that moment. She was looking back at him, smiling. He brushed his fingers to her hair very slowly as if he’s counting them one by one. Then she took his hand, kissed his fingers very slightly. That was my view from afar while I was wearing my earphone, listening to the songs that we will be rehearsing tomorrow. It’s like I’m watching a romantic movie. I told myself, “I’m guessing these two people are a new couple.”

Maybe I am right, maybe I am not.

And while watching them I built this huge urge to ask myself this some questions. Would it make a difference to ask your loved-one how they want to be loved? How they wish you would treat them? What can you do to further deepen the connection?

I had to admit that I haven’t asked Jonjie those questions ever. Have I ever been concerned about how he wants me to love him? Have I ever asked him if am I loving him enough? Does the answers really matter?

I think it does. It’s just that I didn’t bother to ask.

I have been with him for so long that maybe I made myself believe that I was loving him enough. Or maybe because he wasn’t complaining at all. They say that one way of understanding people is putting yourself in their shoes. Sure. And if  he would ask me those questions, the truth is, I would melt, instantly. (eyes gleaming)

This applies not only for people who are in a romantic relationship. I think I goes way deeper than that. Have we asked our siblings these questions? Our parents? How about our friends?

I remember reading that Gary Chapman book called The 5 Love Languages. It basically talks the different kinds of love language of people and if you were open on acknowledging them, there are suggestions on how to love someone according to his love language. He assume that, that is the best way to fill someone’s love tank. Set aside the kilig factor but I am guessing that asking your loved-ones those questions offers a certain level of reassurance. And coming from the right people makes you believe that they do actually care and that maybe, just maybe, you really matter to them.

Timing is essential too. Ask now.

If you were able to ask those questions, tell me how you did it. 🙂

—- Photo credits: http://paularenee.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/heartoutsideajar.jpg

Blogging for what reason?

blogging sugarfixedHave you ever thought about why you’re blogging?

I have several friends who are currently and/or occasionally blogging but when I had my chance to ask why they’re doing it, the simple answer was, “Honestly, I dunno.”

If you’re gonna ask me, well, writing has always been a passion for me. I once believe that I am married to words and thoughts. And those were some of my favorite past times when I was younger. To think and to write. Once in a while, it’s a duly duty why I write but I am convinced that I can express myself better in writing than speaking. Well, I am not sure if that is still the case.

“You have a gift.”

I remember Miss Sidon, one of favorite teachers ever,  saying that to me and I definitely know that time what she was referring to. It was my writing. I think she has her reasons she said that other than the obvious ones like ttending the NSPC (National Secondary Press Conference) twice and won several major awards including BEST FEATURE PAGE (which is my page, by the way. Hooray!! ). And I believed her.

That time, I am more introvert than I am now. Maybe after realizing that I can express myself better in writing, I practiced speaking and expressing myself that way, so I sort of neglected writing. singing, amongst many others. After several years, I am deciding to go back to that habit of writing and I’d like to think that the LAW of ATTRACTION still works for me for my heart is still yearning to win a prize for PALANCA.

Lemme work on that. 🙂

#positivestateofmind

 

 

 

{photo credits; http://www.thesaleslion.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/blogging-employees1.jpg}

“Reach-Out” A Benifit Show for the victims of Yolanda/Haiyan

Olongapo bands’ way of giving it back, a big success!

In our very small but whole hearted act we were able to raise some money that we could donate to our brothers and sisters who were affected by YOLANDA. Thank you so much to all our friends who participated and attended our mini-fundraising show last night at Sitio, it was all fun actually and overwhelming at the same time. Words aren’t enough to paint you a picture of how the show  went out. But we sure wish that everyone ( our friends from abroad, included) were there so we could at least give it all back to them by somehow entertaining them.

8oz., one of OMG's prime band, participated in Reach-Out. Thanks guys!

8oz., one of OMG’s prime band, participated in Reach-Out. Thanks guys!

Gelo of 8oz

Gelo of 8oz

Kuya Ghandi of 8oz. Band

Kuya Ghandi of 8oz. Band

Vanity, my band for almost nine years now, took the initiative to do this benefit show for the victims of the typhoon YOLANDA (Haiyan). Led by our new member and friend, T-rex, we were able to plan and make it all happen in just 5 days. I know that was a bit short notice for everyone but hearing and reading the news everyday about it gave us the feeling for insistence to push it through. It’s obvious that we are so affected by what happened in Tacloban and other gravely affected areas because Olongapo just recently survived a similar misfortune. Which made us so attached to the victims of the typhoon. I, personally, had this hundreds of what-ifs inside my head after watching the news regarding the incident. Made me realize again about things that really matter, if you know what I mean.

Before I went home last night, Angge told me that we were able to raise a sum of Php20, 744 and we’re still gonna pick up some more  money from cash remittance centres that were sent by our friends and families from abroad. God bless your hearts, guys. We’re planning to buy water, slippers, rice and  canned goods out of the money that we collected. Pack them and hopefully be able to ask Batang-Gapo, a non-profit group consists of the sons and daughters of Olongapo, to help up in bringing these donations to our fellow Filipinos who are in grave need right now. Thank you so much in advance, by the way!

*According to the National Disaster Risk Reduction and Management Council on Thursday, the provinces with the highest numbers of confirmed fatalities are the following:

  • Leyte – 1,785 (mostly from Tacloban City, Ormoc City and various municipalities)
  • Eastern Samar – 172 (mostly from Guiuan, Hernani, Lawaan, Balangiga and Giporlos)
  • Samar – 200
  • Cebu – 71 (mostly from Bantayan, Daanbantayan, Bogo City, San Remigio, Sogod, Santa Fe, Madridejos and Camotes Islands)
  • Capiz – 50 (mostly from Panay and Pilar)
  • Iloilo – 41 (mostly from Estancia, San Dionisio and Calinog)
  • Aklan – 11 (mostly from Libacao and Banga)
  • Antique – 10 (mostly from Busaong, San Remigio, Laua-an and Barbaza)
  • Camarines Sur – 10 (mostly from Sabang in San Jose and Presentacion

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Source:

*http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2013/11/14/1256652/areas-severely-affected-yolanda

31 and Happy!

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Finally! I got my copy of Losing Control, Finding Serenity from Mr. Miller, as promised. I got pretty excited when my Mama told me that I have a package from the post office, got up early, got ready and picked it up as fast as I can.

The smell of a new book never ceases to amaze me. The same fervent amazement and excitement goes on until I finish reading a certain book. But this one is a totally different experience. Since I am on my journey to discovering a more accepting me for 2013, after randomly finding Mr. Miller’s Facebook page, and reading his blog entries, I felt a sense of guidance.

I would like to thank Mr. Daniel Miller for sending me a signed personal copy of his book, well, means alot for it’s very timely, I just celebrated my 31st birthday. Which I guess further jumstarted my surprises for 2013. ( I actually received 2 beautiful books as a present this year, the other one has a very interesting story too that I am wanting to tell too.)

Well, I’m looking forward to reading it and sharing my insights about it. Mr. Daniel Miller, thank you again! 🙂

Life-hacking: Ningas-kugon…

There are days in your life when you will feel that something is lacking in your life and just can’t seem to figure out what it is. Well, think again when you start asking yourself this question, is this the life that I want?

I had this weird feeling yesterday, right after getting out of the bed I went outside my room, looked around and felt a sudden  rush of sadness. Maybe part of it was the mix of anxiety and excitement about my moving to our new house real soon. Or maybe I’m just being unsatisfied with what I am or what I have right now, I think I should start doing something else. Einstein said, ” Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is insane.”  (sigh)

2012 is a fruitful year for me, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that 2012 is a stepping stone for me to achieve a better me and by now I have to work on getting one step closer to the life that I want. So the void comes from the question, what else should I be doing?

I spent my day  trying to think about that and finally got my answer. I know that I tried to be productive last year but I this year, I am determined to plan and EXECUTE! I guess that is what I have to work on this year. I will do my goal setting and will set deadlines to avoid that “ningas kugon” syndrome. ( I’d like to believe sometimes that  being able to multitask is a curse. And I have this weird assumption that I have a hyperactivity disorder which results to not being able to focus on one thing till I finish it. I have to do something about that too.) But while thinking about how to solve my weird assumptions, I formulated a scheme, I will make my 2013 planner work for me. Plan ahead, schedule my activities and to-dos so I can track my progress in my quest of healing my “slacker mode”.

I guess most of us are guilty of being a slacker or a ningas-kugon at times, we may feel that there is nothing wrong with that at first but then when that “void” settles in, then there comes the problem, worst is when you start to feel depress, incomplete or unsatisfied. My solutions?

1. Have a list of your ‘to-dos’ and do one thing at a time. When you are trying to finish something, continue doing it till you’re done? NOT. Instead, do something until you’re satistied.

2. But what if you can’t stay away from multi-tasking? Have a note beside you of what you are trying to accomplish at the same time. This will somehow guide you on your inevitable multi-tasking. It would help if your tasks can be done in one place. Let’s say, at 10-11 a.m. you need to check your emails, answer them, download some files and upload some. Write it on a small note pad use some apps that will serve as your reminder. I prefer to use my Stickies.

3. Remind yourself that procrastination will not only eat your time away but also your big chance of fulfillment. Assess your gains and be motivated by it. Believe that whatever you’re doing right now has an indirect or direct effect on your life in the long run. So prioritize and do the things that will help you achieve your better self.

4. Reward yourself when you actually finish something. Well, I don’t know about you but a nice and quiet 5-minute break or nap or maybe a bar of Snickers is all fine with me after finishing anything. I guess it all depends on how to keep yourself motivated.

todolist

You Can Only Give What You Have

2013 started very fruitful for me, not only for my photography but for my band, Vanity, as well. Yesterday, while waiting for our first set, Angge, Shaad and I had this quick chat on how we plan on becoming a better person this year. I told him that I’ m taking my time learning to let go of control then shared some of my insights on how I plan to execute it. When I asked him about his mantra, he said, “Ate, share love.” I have to admit that at first I find that idea to be vague but then again, once you think about it, you’ll find out that it totally makes sense and applies uniquely for each person.

In my case, for example, I find it coherent to what I’m trying to accomplish this year, letting of control, since change is only possible within yourself. So realistically, not having to ask for love to be returned is letting go of control said in a different way. Makes sense.

And when I said that you cannot give what you don’t have, it is to remind you that LOVE is within you. You are born with it. SHARE IT.

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Welcome 2013!

And so there it is… 2013 is already here and I have tried welcoming alot of changes since new year in my endevour to being a better person.

I felt the need to find myself again, and improve it some more because of the sole intention of keeping my words after December 21st,

After today, I will try to live my life everyday as if it were my last.’

And all I want for myself is a last day that I consciously lived through. Something that I truly experienced and will be remembered.

I definitely had the most difficult time finding what my first entry will be until I came across this wonderful article that talks about your real intentions of ‘letting go of control ‘. Now, I have to admit that, that is something difficult to do on my part. So I guess giving a conscious effort to actually do this will be a great leap for me and will do me a great favor to actually find my serenity.

In that article I read an intention prayer that made an impact of why I should have my intentions of letting things be and accepting other people for who they really are instead of constantly trying to change them.

I will be crossing my fingers for now and will be writing about it later. 🙂_MG_1895 copy up wm

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( One of my fireworks photos. Latest attempt! lol!)